You Know We Got A Real History
An exploration of SZA's "Kitchen" off her project "LANA."
The pain in romance: a sentiment hard to express to friends and family who care about you deeply because aren’t you supposed to be happy with the person you adore? It’s this internal tug of war because how can something so bad still make you feel good? This captivating history in a relationship, with pleasure stemming from the little moments, sometimes overshadows the abuse and the hurt, and you can only wonder when the light will shine on the true answer of what to do when it comes to the person you supposedly value. It’s toxicity, but it is, unfortunately, also love. Sampling The Isley Brothers’ “Voyage to Atlantis,” singer-songwriter SZA explores these ideas in her song “Kitchen” off her deluxe album LANA.
She begins with:
You know we got a real history
That's no reason I can't choose me (Ooh)
You know that dick been good to me (Ah)
You make it hard for me to choose me
Setting up the story with an emphatic opening line, “You know we got a real history.” It already sets up this idea of knowing a person for so long that it is hard just to discard them and move on, a tale of romance we all know so well. Isn’t it the story of some iconic romance movies, both dramatic and comedic? We all know what happened when Harry met Sally all those years ago. Now, the internal battle ensues because SZA shows that she should be able to choose herself over any man. She thinks she knows what’s best for her because she goes on to say that the pleasure her man gives her can easily change her mind. She feels good, and that’s what humans want: to feel good. Does that warrant staying in a relationship with someone who might not always make you feel good 100% of the time?
The chorus follows:
Dancing and kissing, the kitchen
Makes me forget, I forgive him
Mama told me I don't listen, back again
Crashing out on shrooms, I guard them
Cursing you solves all my problems
Vacationing in rock bottom, back again
The little moments, the romantic moments, seem so simple but feel so grand due to such an intimate connection with this other person. The kitchen is another tale as old as time, where it feels like a couple is always slow dancing in the kitchen. It is a place where creation happens; a flurry of various ingredients come together to prepare a meal that will reenergize a person, giving them the need to push on with their lives. Cooking is intimate, even more so when doing it with another person. It is done in a home, a place where two people who love each other share. The kitchen is where love can be found, so dancing and kissing in the kitchen can quickly heal the wounds and worries she might feel about her relationship. The simplicity is grand to her, serving up a plate of forgiveness. It’s reassurance.
Yet, do the doubts flow back when the family and friends step in and offer their beliefs? It’s complex because she should listen to them, especially her own mom. SZA mentions how her mom says she doesn’t listen, going back to the men who hurt her. Yet, is there some sense in her actions? She fought these battles. Nobody was there during these challenges except her. It is her life to face. Nevertheless, her friends and family were probably the first people she confided in the aftermath. She might know what’s best for her, but what about external opinions?
It is a concept that feels so real and natural for every person. Nobody is in our brains beside us. Anyone can dissect and analyze us and our actions as much as they please, but ultimately, we are the ones experiencing our own lives. So, of course, it is easy to battle the others that try and help because they are not in our shoes. However, it is hard to do life alone, so finding and listening to the people who will keep us grounded is crucial. So, it is necessary to take in those opinions because we should not just be doing everything solo. While we don’t have to accept or reject every piece of advice a person gives us because, at the end of the day, it is our lives, it is a lot to better talk with another person than resorting to drugs and having a cuss battle with the person you love.
“Vacationing in rock bottom, back again,” is a powerful line that hits hard in this story. It is the light that flashes on the bad stuff SZA has felt deep in her soul that just has not been brought up. She keeps regressing to this tough state, “rock bottom.” Juxtaposing it with the idea of a vacation sells the idea of what she should do because vacations are supposed to relax a person, escaping into territories that provide a sense of wonder. Yet, everything she’s describing is the complete opposite.
The second verse enters:
You know we got a real history
That don't mean I'll let you abuse me (Ooh)
That pussy hit like royalty (Oh)
Must be hard for you to lose me
Similarly exploring the ideas of the first verse, the question of what history does to her mind and choice-making arises. This time, she goes deeper by mentioning abuse, the first genuine mention of the toxicity within the relationship. In a moment where it seems like she might be coming to her senses, she quickly follows with a line that says that the sex and what she offers hits like royalty. Once again, SZA contemplates loving and leaving, as one makes her feel so good, and the other leaves her lonely. She’d not want to feel the latter so much that she would rather find any excuse to stay, saying how hard it would be for him to be without her. She expresses it in a way that she knows what to do, but it is not easy to let him go because she still cares about the man.
She closes out the song:
So hard to do the right thing (Oh)
So hard to do the right thing (Oh, do thе right, oh, I)
So hard to do the right thing (So hard to do the right thing, ah)
So hard to do it (Ooh, so hard to do it)
After the whole journey of back and forth, SZA realizes that she knew what to do all along, but it is just so hard to cut off the toxicity in her life because of how good it can be sometimes. It is a very human feeling, as most people just want to feel loved. The fulfillment of the heart grows hungrier with every aging moment of our lives because what is the point of life if we cannot feel seen?
“Kitchen” by SZA is an exquisite tune that understands love’s strength, affecting the heart and mind in various ways. We take in so much as human beings, but what happens when the bad stuff makes us feel good? It’s inescapable. We hang onto the little things, like dancing and kissing in the kitchen, so the flicker of hope can potentially flourish into a flame of comfort and reassurance. History tells a story, and we live to tell it. It’s both good and bad. Evil and loving. We are the ones who experienced our history, meaning we cannot always be open to hearing from others, but they might be the ones to help us get out of the bad situations. It is all about growing, elevating out of the comforting kitchen and into the grander purpose of life.